beautifully broken

if we didn’t learn how to find the light in darkness how could we shine to illuminate the path for others?

A few months back someone asked me for my blog because she wanted to follow along with my journey. Nice, right? But I didn’t just hesitate to give her the web address, I actually couldn’t do it. The reason was I felt like the mom and professional that wrote my original blog knew all the answers and how to organize the Pinterest worthy playdates and that just isn’t who I am anymore. Life happened. A global pandemic happened. I know I am not unique.. we all have our battle wounds, we are all changed in some way.

The biggest change was my passionate pursuit of truth being my driving force. Life is so much more than a pretty picture. I wasn’t just searching for truth but I was questioning the very sources I had trusted for decades to provide me with answers. I remember the days I so easily accepted information from just about anywhere as truth. This journey has taught me to pray, to be still long enough to recognize and hear that still small voice. The trauma of being a healthcare worker in 2020 is great and I am still in need of healing. I have never experienced a time in my professional career that I have felt so broken and exhausted but I know the hard stuff helps us get to the good stuff, it makes us better and by doing so it also makes others better. It has truly been an opportunity to grow, change and learn more about my calling and who I am.

It made me redefine health… of course in the physical way but also in every other way. What does it mean to be relationally healthy, mentally healthy, spiritually healthy and to understand how to dig deeper into physical health. I look forward to sharing all that I have learned.

This space is part of my healing journey, part of my next chapter and an expression of the me I am today. We are human and part of being human is being broken. It is when we share our struggles, disappointments and lows in life that we can encourage and inspire others… and that is beautiful.